The Stupidist Brooklyn Stories of 2011

Giant corn mutants by Matthew Silver

Many important things happened this year, but we're not going to talk about any of them.

Instead, McBrooklyn looks back fondly on the stupidest stories of the year. How could we forget these powerful moments:

January
- Bushwick filmmaker attacked by giant corn mutants. McBrooklyn
- American Apparel sues after nail polish explodes. Gothamist

February
- Taxidermy craze sweeps Brooklyn: dead mice are used to create cute human-like figurines. McBrooklyn
- The wizards at the TSA start groping women and children getting off trains before allowing them to go home. McBrooklyn
- Freakishly large Brooklyn rabbit rings in Chinese New Year. Brooklyn Eagle

March
- Disturbing trend: happy hour clowns. McBrooklyn
- Support groups form for close encounter and paranormal “experiencers.” Brooklyn Eagle

April
- Scientists say that people growing marijuana indoors use 1 percent of the U.S. electricity supply, adding to global warming. McBrooklyn
- Cathie Black. South Bronx School,  Brooklyn Eagle, Time
- Brooklyn Pol wants stupid neighborhood naming to stop. Funky Apple

May
- New hipster trend: living in houseboats in toxic Gowanus Canal. Hypervocal
- On Rapture Day, all the good folks disappear off the face of the Earth. McBrooklyn

June
- Weiner's weiner. McBrooklyn
- Brooklyn woman travels to your house to read you bedtime stories. At night. Gothamist

July
- Manhattan atheists sue the city for installing a street sign in Red Hook named “Seven in Heaven Way,” to honor seven firefighters who died in 9-11. Brooklyn Paper
- BP Markowitz proclaims Monday to be Meatball Day. McBrooklyn

August
- "I never gave up hope. I prayed, meditated, and now he's with us again," 47-year-old Bonni Marcus said upon being reunited beloved monkey doll Bongo, who went missing in Park Slope. Gawker
- Urban fishermen use raw chicken and used condoms to catch crabs in Newtown Creek - a Superfund site. Gothamist
- Giant red crayfish wander around IKEA, freaking out small children. McBrooklyn

September
- Schweddy Balls. Gawker
- New York photographer unsure what diamond-shaped object is. Examiner

October
- Guy biking home across the Manhattan Bridge stumbles upon a man jumping rope nude there. Gawker
- People freeze-dry their pets. NY Times

November
- NYPD's unconvincing terror suspect tried to circumcise himself. Gawker
- Park ranger who captured a gun-slinging pervert in Prospect Park is reprimanded by the city for the deed. Brooklyn Paper

December
- 85-Year-Old grandma stripped-searched in her wheelchair at JFK, misses flight. McBrooklyn
- Norway runs out of butter because the entire country ate it for their fad diet. Gizmodo

What wonders will the new year bring? Can't wait!


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