Giant corn mutants by Matthew Silver |
Instead, McBrooklyn looks back fondly on the stupidest stories of the year. How could we forget these powerful moments:
January
- Bushwick filmmaker attacked by giant corn mutants. McBrooklyn
- American Apparel sues after nail polish explodes. Gothamist
February
- Taxidermy craze sweeps Brooklyn: dead mice are used to create cute human-like figurines. McBrooklyn
- The wizards at the TSA start groping women and children getting off trains before allowing them to go home. McBrooklyn
- Freakishly large Brooklyn rabbit rings in Chinese New Year. Brooklyn Eagle
March
- Disturbing trend: happy hour clowns. McBrooklyn
- Support groups form for close encounter and paranormal “experiencers.” Brooklyn Eagle
April
- Scientists say that people growing marijuana indoors use 1 percent of the U.S. electricity supply, adding to global warming. McBrooklyn
- Cathie Black. South Bronx School, Brooklyn Eagle, Time
- Brooklyn Pol wants stupid neighborhood naming to stop. Funky Apple
May
- New hipster trend: living in houseboats in toxic Gowanus Canal. Hypervocal
- On Rapture Day, all the good folks disappear off the face of the Earth. McBrooklyn
June
- Weiner's weiner. McBrooklyn
- Brooklyn woman travels to your house to read you bedtime stories. At night. Gothamist
July
- Manhattan atheists sue the city for installing a street sign in Red Hook named “Seven in Heaven Way,” to honor seven firefighters who died in 9-11. Brooklyn Paper
- BP Markowitz proclaims Monday to be Meatball Day. McBrooklyn
August
- "I never gave up hope. I prayed, meditated, and now he's with us again," 47-year-old Bonni Marcus said upon being reunited beloved monkey doll Bongo, who went missing in Park Slope. Gawker
- Urban fishermen use raw chicken and used condoms to catch crabs in Newtown Creek - a Superfund site. Gothamist
- Giant red crayfish wander around IKEA, freaking out small children. McBrooklyn
September
- Schweddy Balls. Gawker
- New York photographer unsure what diamond-shaped object is. Examiner
October
- Guy biking home across the Manhattan Bridge stumbles upon a man jumping rope nude there. Gawker
- People freeze-dry their pets. NY Times
November
- NYPD's unconvincing terror suspect tried to circumcise himself. Gawker
- Park ranger who captured a gun-slinging pervert in Prospect Park is reprimanded by the city for the deed. Brooklyn Paper
December
- 85-Year-Old grandma stripped-searched in her wheelchair at JFK, misses flight. McBrooklyn
- Norway runs out of butter because the entire country ate it for their fad diet. Gizmodo
What wonders will the new year bring? Can't wait!
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